Let People Grieve

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Have you ever noticed that if someone dies, people give you a “grieve time”. And after a certain time, your time of grieving is over and you are expected to move on. Start laughing. Stop talking about the the person.

Is this realistic?

I have lost many close people in my life. And although my “last loss” to someone close to me was about 7 years ago. I am still grieving. Honestly I don´t think I will ever get over it. Can I live with it? Yeas, probably. But I will NEVER be done grieving.

They where such a big part of my life. They where supposed to be there trough different events in my life. Now that they are gone, it feels empty. Just thinking about it makes me feel heavy at heart. If I hadn´t lost them, my life would have been very different. There is a lot of things I wouldn´t have done and there is definitely a lot of things I would have done different.

At the time I didn´t feel like anyone understood my sorrow. I felt really alone. I guess that is still the problem. People do not understand, unless they have experienced it themselves. It is so easy to tell other people what to do.

But you know that they say :

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I know one can not grieve everyday. And I know one can not blame these loss on all shit that happens in your life or for the stupid choices one make. I am aware of that. But even after all this years, there will be bad days. Days when all you wish is that you could speak to that person. To get advise. A hug. Or even a lecture. Some days will still be hard.

I will probably cry. I will probably listen to the music that reminds me of them. And I will probably cry some more.

And so what ?

Time does not heal the pain, but you will deal with it better. There will be less bad days and when those bad days comes ,

allow yourself to grieve. Don´t let anyone tell you otherwise.

The more you pretend and the more you suppress your sorrow, the harder it will come back.

Deal with it! Talk about it! There is NO time limit.

You are not crazy! You are not weak!

You just have a lot to deal with.

1 Comment

  1. Grieving is a difficult process to go through and most people don t know what to say, or do. Can anyone make suggestions on what could have made a difference in helping you through the whole process? Several have mentioned their friends weren t there for them. Can anyone expand on this?

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