Choose or Loose

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When do you have to realize that you can´t save your relationship? No matter have much you love the other person, there is a time ( in some relationships)  when you have to realize that you can´t continue living with this other person. So why is it that we just continue. We try and try and try.

Is it because the love is so strong? Is it that you are scared of what happens when you leave? Or is it the hope? The hope that things WILL get better. The other person WILL change for the better. You WILL receive the love and respect you deserve.

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I came over this text today by Bryan Reeves. And it made me think . OK, not true. This is something I have been thinking about for a while. But he has some really good points.

I stayed with her. I just stopped choosing her. We both suffered.

Choosing her would have meant focusing every day on the gifts she was bringing into my life that I could be grateful for: her laughter, beauty, sensuality, playfulness, companionship, and so … much … more.

Sadly, I often found it nearly impossible to embrace – or even see – what was so wildly wonderful about her.

I was too focused on the anger, insecurities, demands, and other aspects of her strong personality that grated on me. The more I focused on her worst, the more I saw of it, and the more I mirrored it back to her by offering my own worst behaviour. Naturally, this only magnified the strain on our relationship … which still made me choose her even less.

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If you have one giver and one taker in the relationship, can it possible work?  I think not! It should be mutual respect , love , compassion. If your the giver, you will just drain yourself with constantly doing and giving everything. Whilst the taker, usually doesn´t even care enough to appreciate it. Because a taker is usually only worried about her/himself.

And how can this be fair for anyone? You might have different lives, dreams and life goals. And although you love this person, can this then work? Even tough they might love you, doesn´t mean that they will choose you. And then what are you fighting for?

Bryan Reeves writes :  Your loved one deserves to be enthusiastically chosen. Every day. You do, too.

Life isn´t always a fairy tail ….well not for everyone anyway´s.

XXX

Christina

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